This weekend we celebrate Mother's Day. It's a chance to honor the mothers and mother figures in our lives. I have also learned that, as a mother, it's not only about being honored by my kids and husband, but it's about me being able to see the gift God has given me in my children. I am so truly truly blessed to have the two daughters I have on this earth and the one baby that is with Jesus. They all teach me something every day. I also really appreciate that Mother's day is a chance to have a break from being a mother, sort of. I don't mean that I don't want to see my girls, what I mean is that the stress of mothering can be a lot to bear. That's a true statement if you are a mother of 1 or 19 or somewhere in the middle. It's true if you are a biological mom or a step mom or an adoptive mom or a foster mom. Mothering is hard. That statement doesn't change on Mother's Day, but it sure does feel nice to be recognized for what you do. I want to tell you the story of a few mothers. Mine, Wanda, of course because she's the best (sorry to all the other mothers out there), Eve, and a mother we haven't met yet.
So, when I started writing this blog I had no idea where it was going. I have been doing a lot of thinking and questioning God lately. I'm not necessarily questioning my faith or who God is, but I think I am starting to deconstruct my faith. That's the buzz word anyway. I'm taking down the bricks of my faith piece by piece to see if they will hold water (I think I may have mixed my analogies there, but I think you get my drift). But, in going through this process of deconstructing I have asked some pretty tough questions. I'd love your point of view on any of them, so drop a comment below if you have some answers.
1. Why didn't God just explain the whole process of what would happen to Adam and Eve if they ate the fruit? Wouldn't that have saved a lot of time and head/heartache?
2. If Israel had just left Egypt and being slaves, why would they in Exodus 21 have to be given laws from God about governing slaves? Why would they want to do that to someone else?
3. Why didn't God just tell them to not have slaves? Wouldn't that have saved a lot of time and head/heartache (Have I heard that somewhere before?)
These 3 questions in particular lead me to start a discussion with my friend via text messages. I'm so indebted to technology for allowing me to ask the questions that I feel so much more comfortable writing than saying out loud. Also to this friend for constantly fielding my crazy question sessions. But, I digress. The discussion can be pretty much summed up in one text message from her. It said this, "The Old Testament is hard! I don't know what the answer is."
Why is the Old Testament so hard for us? Truthfully I don't know. I wish I did. I'm the kind of person that thinks "Because I don't know, I'm going to find out." Next thing I know I'm starting a free seminary course called Old Testament Survey I. Thank you Gordon Conwell Seminary. The first lecture that I listen to starts to explain that Genesis means Origin. Interesting. And that in Genesis there are 10 different origin stories told. You can keep track of them because the author says, "This is the account" (Genesis 2:4) I went into this course thinking I was going to find the answers to my burning questions about God and his character and our free will, and what I found was a Mother's Day story.
The first origin story is about Heaven and Earth. But the next one is where we meet humankind, and therefore the mother. She's a beautiful thing in the garden. She is a helpmeet to support Adam and be a co-manager of Eden. She could walk barefoot through the garden and converse with God. She had no shame. She was perfect as God created her. Also, as far as I can tell, she wasn't a mother yet either. So, maybe there was more time for strolling and discourse with God because there were no middle of the night breastfeeding sessions, certainly no clothes to wash, and no one constantly pulling on her to do something. Then sin enters the world. That's a whole other blog post I'll have to remember to write one day.
Eve's consequences for disobedience to God are uniquely female. She will have pain when it comes to children. I believe that this pain extends beyond just carrying a baby and delivering it into this world. Not to say that the whole process of childbirth isn't painful, because it is, no matter how that child comes into this world, it hurts. But, the extension comes when you are up 4 times a night feeding the baby and you can't hardly function the next day. It comes when you are having to discipline that child. Hebrews 12:11 "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." There is pain when you watch your child fail. I believe there can also be pain when you see your child succeed because those successes tend to take them further away from you. Eve's consequence seems so much deeper now that I'm a mother. I think of the struggle I will face as a mother when I have to start letting go as my girls grow up. (anyone else hearing Elsa? Let it go! Let it Go! No, just me? Okay.)
However, while the punishment of Genesis 2:4 stands out, we should not forget the blessing of Genesis 1:28 "God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful and increase in number..." I don't believe that God took away that blessing when mankind succumbed to sin. I can see it in my own life experience. When struggles have come our way it has been mothers in my life that have pressed through and made something fruitful in my life. I look at my own mother and just marvel. I think of all that she has been through and how I still never wanted for anything. I had no idea the pain that my mother was experiencing in bearing her children. See, my mother would end up bearing her children alone after I turned 15. My father passed away very quickly. We found out about the cancer in May and he died in September. In just four months time, her world had been completely turned upside down. Yet, she pressed on. She continued to raise my sister and I, even though I'm sure the sight of us only reminded her that my father was gone. Every success we achieved, she was both happy and sad. Excited about our accomplishments, yet sad that he was not there beside her.
My mother has walked through some of the toughest situations, and the thing that I can say I have seen every time, and that is burned so vividly into the recesses of my mind, is her unwavering faith. Her faith and her steadfast love for Jesus was a light to me. It has been a light to me when I strayed off the path, and when I have been lost in the darkness of depression, and when I have been filled with the Holy Spirit. Her spirit celebrates me, and loves me, and prays for me. And I don't know where I would be without my mother. Her faith, even in the painfulness of bearing children on through adulthood, has bore much fruit. That's how the blessing that God gives humankind carries on even after the fall.
I promised we would talk about 3 moms, Eve, Wanda (that's my mama ya'll) and a mother you haven't met yet. So let's meet this untold mom. Let's just call her Susie. Susie could be a mother you haven't met yet, she could be a woman who can't be a biological mother, or maybe she is a woman who made the most difficult decision to terminate her motherhood before she truly understood the cost of that choice. No matter who Susie is, this is the one thing that is true without a shadow of a doubt, she is an image bearer of God. She was made in the likeness of God the father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit. And as a fellow image bearer she deserves our love, and grace, and respect.
My heart has been so burdened lately with the way that we treat other women, other moms, other sisters in Christ. We compete with one another for our own pride and vanity. We want to be the mom that others try to emulate. We want people to say, "She really can do it all, can't she?" But, at what cost. What if we gain the whole world, or the approval of the whole world, and lose our souls? Honestly ya'll I've been missing out on motherhood because I've been mothering for other people more than I have been for my girls. I don't want them to look back at this time that I was with them and say, "Other people thought she was a good mom." I truly want to be a good mom. I can't do that alone. I have got to go to God the father for all the help. I have got to lean on my husband when it gets hard. I have got to seek out friends that I can be real with and say, "This is hard and I just don't feel like doing this right now." I have got to support the other mamas in my life and the other women. Because, it's not just mamas who are raising these babies. I have friends who don't have kids who are helping raise my girls. They are speaking truth and life into them. They are praying for them. They are spoiling them. They are loving them. Women, let's stop the competition and start the connection.
My prayer is that we would look around us and find the women who are ahead of us and ask for help, beside us who need support, and behind us who need direction. We are not alone. We are all image bearers of God Almighty. I pray that you have an amazing God filled Mother's Day. Pray that this blog has been a blessing to you, so that you can be a blessing. I love you so much, and I'll talk to you again soon.
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