So, first I wanted to share with you one of my favorite tools for cleaning my kitchen. It's called The Angry Mama. I love it!! It makes cleaning my microwave like a million times easier. Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but not much. I HATE cleaning the microwave. I'm not actually too keen on cleaning much of anything really. But, the microwave. It's loathsome. Then, a few years ago, my husband gave me a couple of little mamas. One is a Chilly Mama. She goes in the fridge and keeps it smelling fresh. Then there's The Angry Mama. She goes in the microwave with a little water and white vinegar inside and she gets all hot under the collar and all you have to do is wipe it clean when she comes out. Great hack. And honestly, if you don't have a Angry Mama (maybe a better name would be Hot Mama. ;) I like the sound of that better.) you can just put some water and vinegar in a glass bowl and heat it up and it does the same thing. But, my Angry Mama and the cleaning, which I really wish I didn't have to do, got me thinking about discipline.
Doesn't she look menacing, like, "Microwave crud be prepared to meet your match!"😆
But, as I cleaned the microwave I thought back to last week, when my daughter was completely distraught over being asked to wear a long sleeve shirt under her sleeveless dress. It was in fact less than 50 degrees, and I thought she should be warm. Silly me. 🤷 Well it lead to my daughter and I having this conversation.
Daughter: I don't want to wear the shirt mommy. It's too small for me.
Me: No it's not, I just had to roll the sleeves up.
Daughter: But, it's much easier for me to not wear the shirt under my dress.
Me: Just because it's easier doesn't mean it's right or good for us.
She's 4, and yes she really does talk like that. But, after I said it I knew that statement was meant for me as much as it was meant for her. I do not like discipline. I do not like having to discipline myself or her really. It's hard. But, the Bible tells us if we do the hard work of discipline, then we will see the righteousness of God.
"No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it."
-Hebrews 12:11
My daughter says all the time, "It is much easier to not..." then she fills in the blank with whatever she doesn't want to do. The truth is that as a Mama it would sometimes be easier to just not do whatever...like have those hard conversations with your kids, or discipline.
Discipline is a hard one for me. It would be so much easier to just not discipline my kids. Time out is horrible. Not just for the kids, but for me too. I hate the screaming and crying. I hate making her feel that bad. But, she has to learn somehow. And, heaven help trying to discipline a one year old. (Yes I believe they need discipline too. She needs to hear the word "No".)
What does the Bible say about discipline?
1. We as parents are responsible for the discipline of our children (Proverbs 12:24)
I know that this is a controversial verse about discipline. I believe that in the past, and probably in the present, people have used this verse to abuse their children. Also, it has caused some people to walk away from Jesus because they can't understand how the Bible could give their abuser permission to hurt them. I would just like to say, that is a serious misuse of that verse and the Bible. God does not promote abuse. Children are treasures in the kingdom of God. That's what the verse is really saying. that if you treasure your children and love them then you will teach them right from wrong. I really like the way the Message translation puts this verse.
A refusal to correct is a refusal to love;
love your children by disciplining them.
I'm not saying that spanking is wrong. What I'm saying is that we need to find what works for our children and use it to guide them to the right path.
2. God disciplines those he loves. Probers 3:11-12
We can look to the ultimate example of parenthood for guidance when it comes to discipline. God the Father. And, he disciplines his children that he loves. If you love your kids, then you want more for them than to just be stick in whatever poor behavior or bad choices they are making. You want to help them avoid sin. If you love them you want more for them than that, so we must correct and show them where to go instead.
3. God's discipline doesn't change his love for us. Psalm 89:32-33
Whenever we have to put our daughter in time out or perform some other type of punishment it's because we love her. We talk to her about the discipline, and why we chose what we did. And at the end of whatever discipline we use we always tell her we love her. She even says, "I love you too Mama." now before I even say that I love her. She knows that I will always say that. She knows that time out, punishment, discipline, etc. will not change that I love her.
4. We go through all of this because we want her disciplines to lead to repentance 2 Corinthians 7:8-9
That's the ultimate goal of discipline either as earthly parents or from our Heavenly Father.
- To turn away from our sin
- Whatever our disobedience and whatever our discipline we can always turn back to God.
My daughter likes to quote movies all the time. She really only has to see something once or twice and she can quote all kinds of stuff. So, we have to be careful what she hears. And she always picks out things I would never think of to run around quoting. This time it was from Mulan. I hear her running around saying,
"What you've done is unforgiveable."
After we hear that we tell her, and I'm telling you too...
Nothing is unforgiveable. Let's not be scared of discipline, but ready to turn to the Father and allow him to guide us to a better way of life.
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