A lot of the best thoughts that God gives me these days have come during the chaos and noise of motherhood. I've said before, the noise really just gets to me. And, with two little girls in our house the squealing is out of control. The littlest one is not even a year old and her ability to squeal, both with delight and in discontent, amazes me. Sometimes these little ladies in my house squeal to the point that it causes the dogs to bark. I'm not 100% sure that they haven't reached some octave that my human ears just can't hear anymore. Well, last night was one of those squealing times in our house. Again, I was cooking dinner. But, God has been revealing to me that there is truth and peace to be found in those moments if I just take the time to be still in Jesus right then.
So, I did. I paused. And I heard two things. Number one, the beef in the pan sounded like applause for me as a Mama. "Yay Mama, you are doing it. You are raising a family, cooking dinner, and loving God at the same time! You got this! You are amazing!" And, number 2 was that the old adage, "Monkey See, Monkey Do" is so very very true of us people. I can see it in my little girl. She watches her big sister like a hawk. She squeals with delight to see her run into the room. When my big girl starts squealing, so does the little one. She has no idea why, but she just joins in. She has learned that squealing is one way to communicate, that she can actually mimic right now. And, she learned it by watching her sister.
God didn't let that just rest in my mind. After my pause for peace in Jesus was over and I went back to the dinner, and the children, and the dishes, and the dogs, and the house, and the laundry, and the construction that is still playing out in my house (praise the Lord the roof is done! 🙌). But, my mind still belonged to the Lord. He reminded me that our story as Christians is not much different than the way my girls are interacting. We learn from each other. There are some verses in Titus that I remember hearing first in college at a women's retreat that talk about women being mentors to one another.
"Older women similarly are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor addicted to much wine, teaching what is right and good, so that they may encourage the young women to tenderly love their husbands and their children, to be sensible, pure, makers of a home [where God is honored], good-natured, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." Titus 2:3-5
These words were written to Titus from Paul. See, Paul had left Titus in charge when he left Crete after his missionary journey there. This is Paul addressing issues and encouraging Titus in his ministry. So, if anyone knew about a mentor/mentee relationship it was these two men. Paul was the more mature in his faith and he guided and reminded Titus of what the word says. He also listened to Titus' struggles and frustrations no doubt. Otherwise how would he know what to address.
So, as I listened to my children squealing and mimicking, I thought of who, in my Christian walk, I mimicked. I thought about my church upbringing. I thought about my college faith community experience, I thought about church hunting as an adult, and I thought about my own ministry through Bible study and speaking. Here's what I have decided. We all mimic and we all set examples. The important thing to remember is that both of those should mimic Christ.
In our Christian walk there are three directions to look when it comes to mentoring. The first direction is backwards. I believe you need to see who is watching you so that you can make sure you are setting the best example you can for them. And when it comes to Christianity, it's not about physical age. We sometimes get the idea that if you are young then your advice and knowledge is somehow less valuable. It's not about how old you are it's about your maturity in your faith.
Next we look sideways. There is always someone else at the same stage of life you're at. Someone else is also asking God why. They are seeking God's strength in their weakness. These are the people who know what it's like in your trenches. These are the people who don't judge you for not taking a shower because you have two little ones and really what's the point when you're just going to get marker, paint, sweet pea puree, and spit up on you anyway. (Not that I have experience with that or anything 😉). When we are looking sideways that's when we get lifted up so that we can be better mentors to those behind.
Finally, we look ahead. We find those women who have been there and done that. The ones who did it well, and the ones who didn't and learned from it. These women may not be older than you, but most of the time they will be. These women welcome you into their lives and show you the tender guidance of God. They say things like, "If I could go back and tell myself ___________.". They say "It's gonna be on ok.". "God has you." "It's gets better." They give you the truth of God through their own life and faith experiences.
I was so blessed throughout to have lots of mentors. Some have come and gone. Some have come and stayed. Others have come and were taken away. But their walk with me through my faith has changed my life in ways I honestly may never know. Because their blessing to me becomes my blessing to someone else. In college in particular I remember our campus ministers wife sitting with me over coffee and biscotti (which she made herself...I'm just saying) and discussing my faith, my life, my hopes, my disappointments. And, I knew that when she said she would pray for me, she did. I've been out of college for 11 years now, and I still talk to her when I can, even if it's just through email or text. That's a realtionship I cherish. I still seek her advice about faith, careers, churches, and children.
I'm sure that as she was pouring into me, there were other women pouring into her. We have to live in community. We cannot do this Christian Life alone. So remember there is always someone watching you to see how to do this thing, and you can always look to others for help. My prayer today is that we would all seek out community. Find your people. Look for those women who point you to God, and help you to be the woman God has called you to be because there are younger women behind you.
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