So, I’m sorry it has taken so long for a new post. I wrote this a couple of weeks ago, and have been trying to publish it ever since. But, something kept keeping me from pushing the send button. The shootings in El Paso and Dayton hit me pretty hard. I don’t know if it was the fact that there were more shootings and more loss of life, or the fact that part of me feels numb to the horrible things we can do to each other. Or, maybe it has been fear that has paralyzed me from putting into words for the world to read, how I really feel right now. Either way, I will not be silent any longer. Here are the words I had to say.
I honestly don’t really know how to write about this. I do not watch a lot of news. It’s depressing, and I don’t want to hear it. But, I couldn’t miss the shootings that have taken place. I don’t talk politics much. I don’t talk about gun control and I don’t talk about video games and violence. I just don’t like to. But, I’m going to talk about this. Those shootings are sad and wrong and they break my heart. Every shooting that takes a life is sad and wrong and it breaks my heart. Even if that shooting is justified because a person is in danger, my heart still breaks that people are put in a position that they must defend their lives in that way. I honestly can’t understand wanting to hurt someone else like that. When I was a teacher, thoughts of shootings and campus intruders were never far from my mind. I know that so many schools either have started or will be starting back up in the next few weeks for the 2019 – 2020 school year, and I am afraid for my friends and family that have walk into those buildings. It could happen anywhere. I avoid talking about shootings because they are all too real to me.
On April 16, 2007 I reluctantly got up and put on some clothes and got ready for class. I had my herbaceous landscape plants class in the greenhouse on the Virginia Tech campus. I had to wear my heavy charcoal pea coat with the hood because it was abnormally cold that day. I was exhausted. I had been up until the wee hours of the morning watching Blood Diamond at a friend’s house. A movie, that to this day, I have never watched again. I did not want to go to class. But, still I went. I remember sitting in my seat in the greenhouse classroom and watching rescue and emergency vehicles rushing past. We had no idea what was happening. My professor finally said that we should just get out of there and go home. I called my Mama and told her I didn’t know what was happening but I was safe and headed to my apartment. So, I walked back to my car. I still had no idea that a young man was going on a shooting rampage on the other side of campus. I can remember so plainly standing in my apartment looking at my roommate cross-legged on the couch watching the news. She was saying that there were 10, 20, then 30 casualties from the shooting on the campus of Virginia Tech. It was so surreal that I actually said to her,
“That can’t be right. They must be using the wrong word. They must mean injured.”
I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that 30 plus people had lost their lives right there where I had been and had felt so safe. How could that happen?
Then hours later a friend came to tell me that a mutual friend and fellow member of the Baptist Student Union we attended had been among those who lost their lives. Shock seems like such a cliché word to use, but it’s the only one that seems to fit. He was a beautiful soul. We were not particularly close, but we did know each other. We had spent some time together a couple of summers previous when I stayed in Blacksburg instead of going home. I remember the last time I saw him on campus before the shooting. It was late, I was headed to dinner in one of the dining halls before Bible study, and as I was walking toward the stairs I literally almost ran into him. The only think I could see was his white smile coming at me through the darkness as he approached. What a beautiful way to remember a friend.
I went to the wake for Brian and I remember the pastor from the BSU standing there talking about Brian’s favorite verse being Jeremiah 29:11 –
“For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
He spoke about how Brian still had a hope and a future because he knew Jesus. And how we can have a hope and a future no matter how difficult things may seem, because we know Jesus and the eternal hope and future he provides.
I often think of that, especially when I hear of the other shootings and other lives being lost and other families being left with a whole in their hearts and lives. I get so saddened to hear about people pointing fingers at so many different reasons that these things keep happening. We talk so much about where the problem is that I think we are missing the solution. Church, we are the answer. Or at least we should be. Now, please don’t hear me say that there aren’t any issues that need to be fixed. I think there are plenty of places that we as a country can improve to help this situation. However, it has to start with people and the church should be setting the example.
I’m talking about LOVE!! I’m talking about sharing the Gospel. I’m talking about giving people a real hope and future. If we could infect this country with love that goes beyond the people who sit next to us in the pew each week, then I truly believe we could make a difference. If we could show people that they are not alone and that the world does not hate them, then think of the lives that we could touch and possibly save. Christian love doesn’t hate, even as I type that I feel ridiculous that something like that has to be said. But, the church has gotten a bad reputation for being a bunch of haters. Yes the Bible is clear on what is and is not a sin. Once you are a Christian you should constantly be striving to rid your life of sin. But you should also be striving to be more and more like Jesus. He ate with tax collectors. He loved adulterous people. He healed those that the rest of society would not even stand next to. You know who Jesus wasn’t a big fan of? Religious leaders who followed God’s rules with no love in their hearts.
What better way to love people than to bring the gospel to them? That’s the real hope for a better future. Because with that kind of hope and future, we can face the truly awful days that this world has to offer.
I wrote that when the reality of more shootings was raw in my heart. I took some time and read it again before I sent this. I still believe it’s the answer. Love is the answer that will save the world.
“For God so LOVED the world that he sent his only son.”
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