Fear

Fear is a funny thing.  It’s a horrible thing, but odd in the way that it gets to us.  I also find it interesting just how many times you can find “Fear not” or “Peace be with you” in the Bible.  God knew that fear would be one of our greatest issues.  But, why?  Why is the human race plagued with so much fear?

I believe that the main reason is that the Devil knows that fear will paralyze us and Christians who are stuck don’t do much spreading the Gospel.  Also, God never intended us to have fear in our lives. 

Once I was at a women’s retreat and I met a lady who said that she had a word for me.  She said that God did not give me a spirit of timidity.  I was getting ready to get married in the next two weeks, and I assumed that it was related to that.  I was so wrong to limit the words of God in my life.  The statement she made to me came from 2 Timothy 1:7. 

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”

I have repeated those words over and over throughout my life over the last 9 years since that woman said them to me.  I struggle with fear.  I struggle with anxiety.  I struggle with worry. 

The pastor at the church I attend started a new sermon series this Sunday on strongholds.  I have been through strongholds study before.  But, sitting in that chair on Sunday listening to the Pastor talk about the war that wages in our minds, and that the devil can get a foothold in and build strongholds there, and it was like I was seeing it with fresh eyes.  Something he said really struck me.  He said that we get comfortable with the strongholds in our lives and they become part of our identity. 

Ruminate on that for a minute.

We can get comfortable with our strongholds and then they become part of our identity.

How many times have I said, “I’m just a fearful person.” “I’m just anxious.  It’s who I am.” “I know I worry too much, but I can’t help myself.”?  I take fear and anxiety and wear it like a badge of honor.  How wonderful I am because I’m thinking about everything ahead of time.  I’m looking to the future and trying to protect and care for those around me.  I wouldn’t worry if I didn’t care about them.  If I don’t worry about it, then no one else will.  And Satan lies, and I believe him.

The war that is raging is real and it is in my mind.  2 Corinthians 10:5 says,

“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”

I knew sitting in that church and typing this post now, my biggest stronghold is fear.  I am afraid.  I sometimes feel afraid and there is no tangible reason.  I couldn’t tell you why I’m afraid, but I am. But, the Bible tells me in 2 Corinthians that those thoughts are being raised against the knowledge of God.  Against the truth of who God is and who God says I am.

The argument in my mind is that I’m afraid and I should be.   The truth of God says that I was not given a spirit of fear. 

I promised when I restarted my blog that I would eventually explain why I stopped for so long.  The truth of it comes down to fear.  I was afraid of putting my thoughts out there for the world to have access to. 

Sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas of last year, I got a text from my sister that included a picture and article she had seen on social media.  The picture was me.  The article was not me.  The article was about a book that talked about how a young woman had lost a lot of weight before her wedding and all of her guests were amazed.  The picture was one of my bridal portraits.  It had some caption like, “You won’t believe what she looks like now.”

The picture had come off of an older blog that I no longer posted to, but had not taken down.  The old blog was about my journey with healthy eating and God.  It was called “A Journey: No Longer a Fat Girl.”  They had taken my picture and used it with a story about another girl with weight issues to promote a book, that I’m not even sure existed.  I thought perhaps it was a fluke and somehow the internet just connected my sister with a picture of someone she knew.  Then I got more messages from more friends saying they had seen it as well.

It paralyzed me.  I closed both blogs down.  I shut down all of my social media pages.  I didn’t even get on them to look at other people’s stuff.  I just left and stopped sharing the Gospel because the Devil told me that it was dangerous.  I was putting myself and my family at risk.  He said don’t adjust your privacy settings or the types of pictures you chose to use, no that’s not enough.  You need to leave altogether.

Satan lied and I believed him.

Fear is real.  It lies to us.  It paralyzes us.  It strips us of who we really are.  God did not give us a spirit of fear.  But, it’s so easy to get comfortable with that identity.  It is hard to overcome that mindset.  However, God’s truth can give us the tools to break down every lie of the enemy. 

I still struggle with fear.  I may always struggle because I’m smart enough to know that the Devil will not give up on something that has worked so well for him in the past.  But, I also know that my God is bigger than my fear and He is definitely bigger than the Devil.

I pray for us all today that we would be able to identify the things that have us trapped in wrong thinking and are stealing our lives.  I also pray that God would equip us to fight against those lies with His truth.  We are at war.  Satan is not going to stop fighting, so we must always be ready.