Happy Heavenly Birthday Daddy


She sat across from me at the table.  She looked up and said, “Today is the 6th?” 

I replied that it was and we both looked at each other with tears in our eyes and that same closed-lipped smile we give to people when we are sorry and just don’t know what to say.  I stretched out my hand and held hers, and we paused for just a minute.  Today marks 17 years since Daddy went to be with Jesus. 

I can remember so much about that day.  I remember having to stay after school to take a test that I had missed the previous week due to being in the hospital with Daddy.  It was for Mrs. Henderson’s Geometry class.  I got a 96 on it.  I remember the Griles’ picking me up after the test to go down and see Daddy.  See during the labor day holiday he had been put back in ICU.  He had been suffering since May of 2001 with Acute Myeloid Leukemia.  Life had been different over the past few months.
I can clearly remember stopping at the Arby’s on the way to the hospital and getting a Jamoca Shake, and being so surprised when we didn’t stay and eat in the restaurant.  I just didn’t remember ever having eaten in their car before.    What I didn’t know is that they had already spoken to my mother.  The doctors had told her to get the family there as quickly as she could.  It wouldn’t be long.  Someone was already on their way to get my sister from college. 

17 years go by so fast when you’re looking back, but when you’re in the throes of just beginning that journey of mourning and sadness, it seems like every day is a year.  It seems like everything makes you sad.  It seems like there will be no end to your mourning.  It feels like you’ll never be able to remember the good times without tears.  It feels unfair.  It feels angry.  It feels alone.  Mourning is a long road. 

But, God…

He promises that we don’t have to do this alone.  He is always with us.  He even makes some extra promises to those who mourn.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”  Matthew 5:4

God promises comfort for those who mourn.  That may mean that he puts people in our lives that can take the pain for just a little while.  That may mean that he brings you a sign to remind you of the love you shared with that person.  And, if that person was a believer in Jesus Christ, then you can take great comfort in the fact that you will see them again in eternity.  I have that great comfort.  I know that my father was a believer in Jesus.  I know that I will see him again, and it won’t matter how old he was when he died or how long I lived without him.  All that will matter will be that we both are spending eternity with Jesus. 

“And provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.”  Isaiah 61:3

This verse really hit home for me when I was a student at Virginia Tech during the shooting that took 33 lives.  This verse was the foundation of how the BCM (Baptist Collegiate Ministry) dealt with that terrible tragedy.  Today I hold on to that verse for so much strength.  I remember the mourning in my heart when my father died.  But, I can look back now and see where God has provided me with joy, and beauty, and praise.  I can remember the wonderful times I had with my father.  I can praise God for the life that he lived.  I can see the beauty of the life he shared with this world and the legacy that he left behind.  I was truly blessed to have the father that I did. 

I can also see where God has made my mother, my sister, and I into oaks of righteousness for the LORD.  Through that whole experience and every day since we have been able to share the joy of the Lord with those who have questioned our resolve and strength in the face of such hurt.  God has used our situation to bring glory to His name.  The way that He blessed and comforted us has given my family the opportunity to display God’s splendor.  He is a good God.  He is a loving God.  This is a broken world, and that just proves to me that we need God all the more. 

Some people will say that this kind of hardship has no purpose.   But, I take comfort in the fact that my God has a plan. 

“The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped.”  Proverbs 11:25

God gave me other people who were hurting so that I could bless them with the comfort of Jesus.  When I shared how God had blessed me during the time of losing and mourning my father, I was always blessed with the love and strength that God gave me.  When I would help someone else that was struggling with a loss I was always helped by God. 

God asks us to pay it forward.  When you are in mourning, it’s hard to think that anything good can come from that place.  But, God can make beauty out of ashes.  He can comfort those who mourn.  He can help. 

If you are mourning today, either a new or old loss, my prayer is that God would give you comfort, joy, peace, beauty, strength, blessings, and help.  I pray that all of us would be plantings for the splendor of the LORD. 

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