I am the Woman at the Well

I stepped on the scale with not just a heavy body, but also a heavy heart.  I knew the scale was going to say things I did not want to hear.  I had told my husband just minutes before that I did not want to be here doing this today.  "It's gonna be bad," I told him as we waited behind the ladies in front of us.

"Okay I'm ready."  The sweet lady behind the scale said to me.  I put one foot on, then another.  I tried to raise my toes so at least something wouldn't be weighed.  It didn't work.

"You're up a bit.  About 5 pounds.  What's going on?"  Her eyes were concerned behind the fun plastic frames of her glasses, but what I heard was shame.

Instead of, "How can I help?"  I heard, "What is wrong with you?"

I know that I'm not alone when I say that I carry shame with me on a daily basis.  Mine happens to weight about 100 pounds and everyone can see it. It's my eating habit.  Other people carry other shame with them.  I'm not alone.  But the devil uses shame to make us feel like we are alone.  The more alone we feel the more ashamed we feel.  The more shame we feel, the more we want to be alone.  It's a vicious cycle.  From the devil's perspective though, it's highly effective.

In that room with all those other people weighing in I felt that I was the only one that was gaining weight instead of losing it.  I felt that I was the only one struggling with following the plan and figuring out how to live this life.  But, through the support of those people, I was able to see  that I was not alone.  This is a tough journey, and it's hard to do it alone.

Shame wants to keeps us separated, not just from people that could help us, but also from God.  We often feel that we can't go to God until we've got it all together.  We feel that we can't come to church until we have our lives straight.  But Jesus wants us just as we are. Every time I heard that phrase I think about that old hymn,

"Just as I am without one plea, 

but that Thy blood was shed for me,

and that Thou bidd'st me come to Thee,

O Lamb of God, I come! I come!"

As an invalid, Charlotte Elliott knew what it meant to come just as she was before God when she wrote those words.  

When I think of coming just as I am, I feel such shame.  I am broken and so lacking.  But, I'm not alone.   Shame and the Bible have a pretty strong relationship.  There are many in the Word who have felt shame, but one lady in particular comes to my mind.  The woman at the well.   I can identify with her so much.  She was coming to draw water in the heat of the day to avoid people.  She was ashamed of her life and didn't want to hear all the snide comments from the other women.  I have eaten my lunch alone to avoid the stares at what I've packed.  I have stayed up late to eat snacks that I didn't want anyone else to see.  Funny thing though, when Jesus wants us, he can find us no matter how much hiding we think we are doing.  

John 4:4 says, "And he HAD to pass through Samaria."  So, normally Jews would not have gone through Samaria.  While it did lie between Judea and Galilee, most Jews circumvented it by crossing above the Dead Sea and traveling through two other countries to avoid Samaria.  So, why did Jesus Have to go through Samaria?  Because he had an appointment.  He was meeting the woman at the well.  

This woman didn't expect anyone to want to meet her at the well, much less the Messiah.  I so relate to her.  I never feel that I'm worthy of other people or God's time because of the shame that I carry around in my heart.  I feel I'm not good enough.  I feel I'm not holy enough.  I feel I don't have enough self-control.  But, just like Jesus met this woman, he meets us exactly as we are, exactly where we are.  

At the end of the story (4:28) she left her water jug at Jesus' feet, and ran to the town to share what she had just learned.  She had just met the Messiah.  That water jug was heavy.  But it was valuable to her.  It provided her with the water she needed for her daily life.  It also represented her struggle.  Everyday she went with that heavy jug alone to draw water.  But, in an instant she left her struggle at the Master's feet to share the living water with those she was ashamed to even pass by earlier.  

Verse 39 tells us that many people believed because of this woman and her testimony.  Her shame was all washed away.  Jesus gave her a new purpose.  He came and met with her in her shame and changed the lives of a whole town.  What could we do if we met with Jesus in our shame and allowed him to change our lives?  Jesus wants to meet with us just as we are.

Today, I know that Jesus has to pass through Ellis Creek because he has an appointment with me.  He has to pass through wherever you are too, because he has an appointment with you.  Don't miss the plan he has for you because you are too ashamed to meet him.