Brethren. Well, my sweet friend and I were talking and we were jealous that we didn't have a cool name (we were the BCM Lady Hokies -- which is actually pretty cool, but anyway). So she suggested that we call ourselves the Sistern. Well we laughed and then went about our business. But, the name stuck in my head and my heart.
Now, fast forward 8 years or so and I'm sitting in my ladies bible study meeting and they decided we should have a name. I pipped up and announced that I had the perfect name. We could be The Sistern. I even had doodled a design in my journal as we talked. I was so excited that this name that God had introduced me to so many years ago was finally being used. We decided that it was appropriate because we were being poured into by God and then pouring into one another. What a great image. It was utterly a God thing that he placed that on my heart and let it sit there until he was ready to use it.
Fast forward again, 3 years this time. Now I'm sitting in a conference of 800 Christian women writers and speakers and the name is laid on my heart again. God's timing is more beautiful than we could ever create. I have been blogging for several years now, and had only been slightly serious about it. I have believed that my writing and speaking were my giftings and that God was calling me to use them for his kingdom for a while, but, at this conference God asked me to surrender my writing and my ministry to Him and let Him give me direction. Once I did that doors began to open about what to write, who to write for, and how to write it. Then more things became clear about speaking the gospel. So, God clearly spoke to my heart that I should become a Sistern again. I need to be filled up by God daily so that I can pour out on this blog and in my speaking for the women that I can reach.
I'm here to tell you that surrender is hard. I was not ready for what He was going to ask me to do. Although, I guess I was because he asked and I did. There was a beautiful prayer room at this conference that was almost always full of women in communion with God. However, the morning that I was to pitch my book idea to a couple of publishers, it was empty. So I sat and prayed. I felt God ask me to surrender my book proposal to Him. So, in prayer I surrendered to him my work. Then I felt a nudging that saying the words for me was not enough. So, I asked without really wanting to know the answer.
"God, do you want me to leave my proposal here for you?"
Clear as day in my heart... "Yes."
I felt queasy. I didn't want to leave my proposal. What if I needed it to give the publishers? What if I met an agent in the stairwell (not sure why I say stairwell, let's be honest I take elevators)? What if I leave it in the prayer room and someone thinks I'm disrespecting this place of prayer with my ambition? What if? What if? What if? Finally, I stopped and replied to God.
"If you want me to leave it, you need to show me where to put it."
And, like God always does, he showed up. Just then Julie walked into the prayer room. So, I tried to avoid her, but I couldn't. I walked over and asked if she could do me a favor. I couldn't even get the words out before I was in tears. She prayed with me, and took my proposal and held on to it for me. It just so happens that Julie's book proposal was about surrender. What an amazing God that we serve. He orchestrates things in a way that we never could on our own.
No, I didn't get a book deal that day. I may never get a book deal for that idea. But, God did give me a new direction for the book through the publisher meetings. He gave me a whole new audience to reach. Middle school girls. I know, they are a tough group. But, those are my girls. I love them from the bottom of my heart. Perhaps it's because I don't really want to grow up. Perhaps it's because I know the pain of middle school all too well.
I'm not neglecting women's ministry and writing for women. We are just expanding our scope of women. But I'm amazed at how God can change your life in the blink of an eye. I will be honest with you my prayer life and time in the word was minimal. I was addicted to TV and laziness. I'm not sure I'm cured of either of those as of today, but I'm making an effort to give God my time.
John 7:38 says "He who believes in Me, as the scripture said, 'From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.'"
The more that I spend time with God, the more love he puts in my innermost being. Because of that, when I meet one of His girls that need living water, I can pour it out. So my prayer for this site and these blogs is to pour out what God is doing in my life. I pray that it brings you life.
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